Tooth Decay Pt 1

I felt it when I woke up
but I wanted to check to be sure
Run in to the bathroom
and simply close and lock the door

Needed a moment for I
could not grasp what I did see
Stared in to the mirror
But who I saw wasn't me

Looking in to the eyes
of a monster with a puffy face
couldn't believe it myself
until I felt the shooting pain

Sharp like knives slowly
cutting me to the bone
swollen lips and soft ball cheeks
time itself was ticking by too long

Teeth are a throbbing
Brain a thumping cage
all the things I'm feeling
slowly sets me in a rage

sweating with anticipation
Chills running up and down my spine
fretting with exhaustion
body is a aching its own rhythm and rhyme

Lungs are feeling heavy
slowly caving in on me
Walls are steadily closing in
and I can hardly breathe

Struggling through my cigarette
Peeling the skin off my lips
chapped and bleeding sores
loosing feeling in my finger tips

I feeling just a tad bit weak
and I am so very sore
Not sure if I can take
this excruciating pain much more

I'm loosing my grip
fear and panic stricken
Stomach tied all up in knots
Whole body is nervously shaken

Heat is a crashing tidal wave
spiked a fever of 105
The ER seems to be Vacant
which leaves me to be next in line

Rush me to a room
call the doctor call the nurse
I don't want to leave here
in the back of a hearse

Fearful for I know
what is coming up next
the Iv needle's pumping
my veins full of liquid meds

Fires of the Fever
slowly burning out okay
the Nurse walks in just to say
"know that you could have died today"

Feeling the medications
seeping its way all through me
suddenly I'm relaxed enough
to close my eyes and fall asleep

I'm told to call a surgeon
have him remove the tooth decay
and do it now and hurry up
you don't want to delay

Doc comes in and says
"I know you are in a lot of grief,
but loosing a tooth
will be your only way of relief"

and too my own surprise
I shockingly seem to agree
I know what needs to be done
to rid this pain from inside of me

I know what to do now
the damage has been done
Just one week till the surgery
then the infection will be gone

Although I'm suffering
all alone on the inside
Husband brings me comfort
and dries the tears that I have cried

Hand me the prescription
signing discharge papers with my name
all that's left to do now
is sit and play the waiting game

Set up with an appointment
there is nothing left to debate
The only thing that's left to do
is take my meds, and impatiently wait.

Just Me

I may sing the loudest
when the radio is on 
I may dance obnoxiously
to the beat of each song
I may laugh the hardest
if I've never heard the joke
I may even live it up
when I know Im broke
As if I've memorized the script
I may act out the scene 
I dont even care if I trip
and should I ever fall
I know that I will be
Laughing through it all
and I may be insulted
But I'll just wear a smile
Empty words dont phase me
I am not a child
I make my own rules
and I play no games
I can fill my own shoes
stand tall and proud
I have a Name
and its Stephanie
I know who I am
I Love being me
Life is meant to be enjoyed
Never just endured
I cant play pretend just for you
All I want to be 
is Just Me. 

2 Good 2 Lose

I know what its like
to feel forgotten
Left behind and the third wheel
But I can wear a smile
act like its no big deal

I can take a hit
every now and then
be the punch line to a joke
But I can laugh it off
wont let myself get broken

I've been pushed around
a time or two
worn bruises on my face
But I can dust myself off
I've got my makeup and shades

And I may have
broken a bone or two
Accidents happen
and I will make it through
I Must be strong
to keep moving on
Life feels too good to lose

I know what it feels like
To be Loved
In many ways more than one
I would never give it up
Its my heart they have won

I've seen a valley
called "Rumors"
planted with seeds of lies
But I've also seen the truth
spread its wings and fly

I've been kicked
when I was down
Labeled with many names
Casted out all alone
heart stricken with pain

And I may have
learned a lesson or two
Growing up is  
Something we all must do
we make mistakes
but its the risk you take
and you will make it through
Life's too good to lose

I'm not saying
that I'm perfect in any way
I don't carry bragging rights
But I'm just happy being me
don't lose any sleep at night

I have surrounded myself
by those I Love and adore
Friends and Family
Cant wait to see whats in store
We cant erase our pasts
Life goes by way too fast
and there is nothing I want more
Life's too good to lose